Mentally warn out

Round 4 came and went. It still made me feel crappy but it could have been worse. At least I was able to race this weekend. I got down to 8 cars on Saturday and them lost a close race 2nd round on Sunday.

Friday they removed my port because there was a clot on the bottom part that showed up on the CT scan from Houston. So the next two rounds of chemo will be administered through a vein. I was really nervous to have my port removed because the procedure was done in his office. He numbed me and then cut open the incision from before. I didn't feel a thing other then some tugging and pulling. I'm not gonna lie, I was kind of sad to see it go. I got attached to it in the last year.

Speaking of last year. I can't believe it has almost been a year since I was diagnosed. It's crazy to think how fast time goes. It has been a really rough year but I have so much to be thankful for.

Right now I am feeling alright. I have my ups and downs but I am hanging in there and trying to stay busy. I am just mentally warn out at this point. I am ready to get these last two rounds over with and not have to worry about how I can going to feel afterward. I am ready to not have my life revolve around this. I want to worry about racing and coaching my girls at the gym. Not which appointment I need to go to, which arm I want my blood drawn from or what scan I need to get done. I got shit (excuse my language, but its true) I need and want to do, so I wish this crap would just hurry and go away and go away forever.

Hope everyone had a great Memorial Day weekend.

Love,
Jeryka