Sunday, December 29, 2013

Best Christmas present

I am pretty sad that Christmas is already over. I feel like it came so fast and then it was over. I usually like to start shopping pretty early but this year I really didn't get started until the Friday before. I finally finished up on Christmas Eve and still felt like I didn't have enough. Even though everything went by extremely fast I enjoyed every minute that I got to spend with my family and Kyle's family. I love watching people open presents especially the kids. 

I had a CT scan done on the Monday before Christmas and then saw th doctor on Friday. Dr. Koeneke delivered the best Christmas present I had gotten so far.  My scans showed nothing in the lungs and two very small spots in the liver that were hard to tell what they were. He said if these spots showed up on a healthy person's scans he wouldn't be concerned at all but knowing there was something there before we are going to do at least one more round of chemo maybe two. If feels so good knowing that this chemo reginmin is doing its job so hopefully it will be a little easier to sit through this round. I will go in on Tuesday this week. Looks like I'll be having my own "cocktails" to celebrate New Years. 

I had a MRI of the brain done Friday morning before I saw Dr. Koeneke. I was scheduled to see the radiologist on Jan 2nd so I wasn't even thinking about those results yet but Dr. Koeneke eased our minds and let is know that the scan came back clean as well. So that was my second favorite Christmas present!

On a side note, married life is great. Our wedding was a amazing and I couldn't have asked for it to go any smoother. It was so nice getting to share our special day with so many special people in our lives. I will share pictures on my next blog!

I want to give a special shout out to all the racers and their families who showed their support by purchasing Team Jeryka items from It is greatly appreciated and I hope to be able to thank you all in person one day at the track. I also want to thank Scott Lemon, Luke Bogacki, Danielle Davis, Rick Huffman and Jeremy Maples for helping to make it happen. 

Hope everyone has a great New Years!


Tuesday, December 3, 2013

Missing out

So this weekend is our first gymnastics meet of the season, which I am pretty excited about. But what I'm not excited about is that I will be laying in a hospital bed all weekend for round 4 of chemo and won't get to see the girl's hard work pay off. This is going to be extremely hard for me. I want nothing more than to be there with them during their first meet. I'm not going to be able to help calm their nerves, give them last minute corrections or give them a hug after they do an awesome routine. These kids mean the world to me and I just want to be there for them. Tonight after practice was extremely difficult. It was so hard looking at the girls as I was giving them last minute advice because I could see the disappointment on their faces and it killed me. I couldn't let them know I was hurting inside so I held back the tears as we said good bye. I want them to be strong while I'm gone so I had to put my strong face on even though I didn't feel strong at all. Tonight was also hard because I have a gymnast who is struggling and there is nothing I can do for her before the meet. I can't help her work through her mental block from the hospital and it really bothers me. I just want to fix it for her and make it all better, but I can't. I feel like I am letting her, along with the other gymnast down for not being there for them whee they need me the most. It's not fair to them that they have to be put through this battle with me. They shouldn't have to worry about me, they should just be able to focus on doing their routines to the best of their ability.

This round could be my last round. It will all depend on what the scans show this time. After two rounds the spot in the liver shrank a lot from the original scans. If it looks like the chemo is still working I could do up to 2 more rounds. If everything looks stable we may take a break after this one. Since I am tolerating the chemo pretty well, Dr Koeneke would be okay with doing more rounds after this if it looks like it is still doing its job. I haven't been sick at all this time around, it just wears me out and sucks sitting in a bed for 4 days straight with only being able to get up to use the restroom. I take plenty of things to do but I never have the desire to do anything. Last time we took the clock down because it was directly in front of my bed and I couldn't stand watching the time go by so slowly. Last round my hemoglobin levels dropped pretty low so they did a blood transfusion. I was a little worried about this but it went fine other than being done in the middle of the night. I just want to sleep when I'm there but the nurses won't leave me alone no matter what time it is.

The last two weeks were the best. Between getting to marry my best friend and spending a week in Mexico. I got to forget about everything and just have fun.  I think that is why this round of chemo is extremely difficult on me. I went from an extreme high to an extreme low. I am so sick of this thing running my life. I feel like everything revolves around it and I can't just live a normal life. I didn't get to race as much as I would have liked this summer and now I can't go coach my girls at their first meet.

On a brighter note, our wedding was amazing. Everything came together nicely and I had the time of my life. It was so nice to have our families and friends all come together and help us celebrate our special day. The dance floor was rockin' all night long and so was the photo booth! We got a good laugh from the photo album that was put together from the photo booth. I will try to post some pictures from the night real soon.