"I have cancer"

"I have cancer."

Those are three words I hadn't said to myself until this past Wednesday. Saying those words made everything come crashing down on top of me and I lost it. I had just been saying "the tumor is cancerous" or "there is cancer on my bladder", that was easier to say instead of being placed as the owner. I felt I had been doing real good at staying strong and as positive about this until I said those three aweful words. Even though the doctors felt real confidnt they got everything out it is still a scary thought to think there maybe just one little guy hanging out just waiting to attack. So I am ready to do whatever it takes to attack harder. I am the youngest child and thanks to my older brother I have learned how to put up a fight and now is the time.

I had my appointment with my oncologist this afternoon and it didn't go as planned. Things changed and not for the better. I have an appointment with an oncologist at KU tomorrow morning (this morning) so Kyle and I drove up to KC to spend the night. I got to see my sister, her husband and their 3 kids while we wete up here so that made things better as we don't get to see each other that often.

My good news for the day: I get this stupid catheter out tomorrow and the stitches in my belly button will get to come out on Tuesday. The plastic surgeon did an awesome job on the belly button and I can't wait to see what it looks like without the stitches. He also told me I could get in the pool but no chicken fights or swimming laps, so that's what I'll do this weekend.

I will update tomorrow with more information on what the KU oncologist says and our possible new plan with treatment.

Love,
Jeryka