Every Storm Runs Out of Rain

We didn't get the news we were hoping for today. The MRI I had done on Monday just showed there are for sure two spots on the brain. The spot on the right side is just on the surface, the spot on the left side is pretty deep in tissue. We have a plan set and are hoping for the best.

I will be meeting with two radiologist, one that does stereotactic radiosurgery (pin point radiation) and one that does full brain radiation. I will also meet with a neurosurgeon  to discuss the surgery they will be doing to remove the metastase that is on the surface and will be taking some tissue to test. They need to figure out if the cancer is small cell or urachal cancer. After they remove the metastase on the right side they will do stereotactic radiosurgery to the left side since they wouldn't be able to remove that tumor without causing more issues. After that we will wait a couple of weeks to do full brain radiation and then I will do chemo again. The type of chemo will all depend on what type of cancer they find.

We are hoping the cancer is not small cell because the average time frame for the re-occurance is 6-8 weeks and the cancer is very aggressive. If it is urachal cancer the average time frame for re-occuracne is 6 months to a year. I am ready to be better than the average.

I am at a loss for words. It is so hard to be positive during this time but I am forcing myself to be. I am really scared of what is to come and worried about how hard I am going to have to fight. It was the hardest thing I have ever been told in my life and even harder to tell my family and friends. I couldn't talk to anyone without breaking down, I couldn't look at Kyle without breaking down. I just want to go home and for all this to be over with. I want to go back to our everyday normal life when the biggest worry we had was how to keep Abby from breaking out of the back yard. I want to plan a wedding, go racing with the family, coach some amazing young woman, spend time with the family, hang out with friends and just forget about everything. I have so much I want/need to do and don't really have time for this damn pot hole in the road. 

Kyle and I will fly home tomorrow night so we can get clean clothes, see our puppies and see both of our families. Mom, Kyle and I will fly back out Sunday night for my appointments on Monday. My surgery isn't scheduled yet but we are hoping they can get me in next week. If they can't I will be going back home to live a normal life for a couple days and try to forget about all of this.

 Every Storm Runs Out of Rain by Gary Allan is a very fitting song to all of this.

I will update after all my appointments.

Love,

Jeryka